Hey. It's me. Your rock. It's been a while, huh? I haven't moved. Obviously. But a lot has happened around here while you were gone - and for the first time in my entire geological life, I have something to tell you. Out loud. With my actual voice. Which I apparently have now?? Pull up a boulder. Let me catch you up. ▶ Play now
🏜️ A Whole New Place to Do Nothing - The Canyon (FREE)
For all of recorded history, I sat in exactly one spot. Now there are two. The Canyon is a brand-new, completely free map - sun-baked cliffs, dramatic echoes, and the same profound nothingness you love, in a fresh location. Available in both Zen Mode and Multiplayer. Relocation: achieved. (I did not lift a finger. I don't have fingers.)
🎙️ Voice Chat - Yes, Stones Talk Now
This is the big one. In Multiplayer, you and your fellow stones can now talk to each other. With real voices. We have, collectively, nothing to say - and somehow these are the best conversations I've ever had. Sit in a canyon with your friends. Say nothing. Say everything. Let it echo. (Warning: surprisingly emotional.)
🪨 Three New Stones
Tired of being the same old rock? Same. Three new stones to be. Pick your fighter. (You will not fight. You will sit. Beautifully.)
🏆 Two New Achievements
Two new (completely unhinged) trophies, unlocked the only way we know how: by doing remarkably little.
So, look. If you drifted away - your rock gets it. It holds no grudge. It holds nothing, because it's a rock. But the Canyon is new, the voices are new, and there's never been a better moment to come back and just… be here. And if you've been sitting on the fence (instead of on a rock) wondering whether to grab it - Stone Simulator is Overwhelmingly Positive, costs less than a coffee, and is quite possibly the cheapest existential crisis on Steam. This update is free, because we're not done with this little rock yet. See you in the Canyon. Bring your voice. 🗣️🪨 — STFGames
