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The Procession to Calvary

The Procession to Calvary

Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.

Released Apr 9, 2020 Developer Joe Richardson Publisher Akupara Games Platforms Windows · Mac · Linux Dark ComedyFunnyMedievalPoint & ClickSurreal
View on Steam ↗ $3.99 (US · as of 2026-07-26)

What players say

Steam review score and the most-helpful voices, which may include critical ones. Data as of 2026-05-20.

97.6%positive1,106 reviews
Recommended · 26 found this helpful

“Funny little historical points and click game. You'll love it or hate it.”

— a player, Steam review · 2 hrs played
Recommended · 12 found this helpful

“It was fun, but, tbh, I liked first one better. Yes, more save slots is a significant improvement. And yes, you can pet the kitty (but where is the dog?)... And it's still the same kind of humor and pretty much the same gameplay as before. My only complaint - a bit too much gore…”

— a player, Steam review · 4 hrs played
Recommended · 11 found this helpful

“It's nice to see that Monty Python still lives on in this bizarre and terribly funny point-and-click adventure. Terry would be proud.”

— a player, Steam review · 3 hrs played
Read more reviews ↗

Player activity

Monthly average concurrent players. Live count fetched 2026-07-11 13:15 UTC · history via SteamCharts.

7playing at last check
924-hour peak
77all-time peak
0 10 20 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 13 avg · Apr 2026

Achievement stats

Global completion rates across all Steam players — a data view of how far people actually get. Source: Steam official stats · as of 2026-07-25.

21achievements
38.4%median completion
14.3%rarest: Serial Killer
59.8% of players 59.2% of players 57.8% of players 51.0% of players 50.0% of players 47.6% of players 43.3% of players 40.8% of players 40.0% of players 38.8% of players 38.4% of players 37.9% of players 37.8% of players 37.4% of players 37.0% of players 36.4% of players 33.0% of players 30.6% of players 25.1% of players 16.1% of players 14.3% of players 59.8% 0% most earned rarest
Almost everyone has
59.8%Spank the Bishop — But I -- I say to you, not to resist the evil, but whoever shall slap thee on thy right cheek, turn to him also the other. -Matthew 5:39
59.2%First Blood — Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image. -Genesis 9:6
57.8%Abuse Democracy — I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you... -Corinthians 1:10
Rarest badges of honor
14.3%Serial Killer — And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each human being, too... -Genesis 9:5
16.1%Holy Book — Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it. -Revelations 1:3
25.1%The End #2 — You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful and naked. -Revelations 3:17

Price tracking

US-region pricing (USD), sampled twice daily by our own tracker since 2026-07-11. Steam prices vary by region — always confirm your local price on Steam.

$3.99−60% right nowcurrent · sampled 2026-07-26 08:39 UTC
$9.99base price
$3.99lowest since tracking began2026-07-12
US3.99 USD−60%
EU3.79 EUR−60%
UK3.19 GBP−60%
Australia5.98 AUD−60%
Canada5.19 CAD−60%
Japan440 JPY−60%
Brazil11.99 BRL−60%
China14.00 CNY−60%

Regional prices at last sample, in local currency — Steam sets each region's price independently.

China≈$2.1 Brazil Japan Canada US Australia UK EU≈$4.3

Cheapest → most expensive, converted to USD at ECB reference rates (2026-07-24). Relative comparison only.

$0 $10 $20 07-11 07-14 07-17 07-20 07-23 07-26

Latest official news

Developer announcements via the Steam news API — links go to the original posts. More across all games on the news hub.

Apr 30, 2026
Immortal John Triptych Reveal

Hey sinners and saints,I’m happy to introduce the Immortal John Triptych!The Immortal John Triptych brings Four Last Things, The Procession to Calvary, and Death of the Reprobate together under one co

Sep 09, 2025
Akupara Games Publishing The Procession to Calvary

Hey sinners and saints,I’m the community manager of Akupara Games and I’m the holy messenger boy here to announce that Akupara Games is publishing The Procession to Calvary as well as the rest of Joe

Nov 07, 2024
Death of the Reprobate is OUT NOW!

The third (and FINAL) installment of the Immortal John Triptych, spiritual successor to Four Last Things and The Procession to Calvary, is now available! Go go go! https://store.steampowered.com/app/1

Oct 03, 2024
The Triptych is almost complete!

🎶🎺Hear ye, hear ye!🎺🎶 Death of the Reprobate, the third and final instalment of the Immortal John Triptych, will be released on November 7th 2024! It's been a long old 4-and-a-bit years. I am withered

Feb 05, 2024
Death of the Reprobate Demo - Available Now!

The title says it all really. I made a little demo for Death of the Reprobate and it's available for the next week as part of Next Fest. This demo is unfortunately only available for Windows, and is n

Games like The Procession to Calvary

From our knowledge graph — ranked by shared traits, not a black box. Each card says why it's here.

Four Last Things Four Last Things 95.3% · 1,061 reviews shares Beautiful, Dark Comedy, Philosophical, Short Star Fetchers Star Fetchers 97.3% · 5,984 reviews shares Surreal, Gore, Violent, Comedy Hello Charlotte EP3: Childhood's End Hello Charlotte EP3: Childhood's End 98.4% · 1,189 reviews shares Philosophical, Surreal, Gore, Violent Puzzle Agent Puzzle Agent 88.3% · 2,145 reviews shares Short, Surreal, Point Click, Comedy Puzzle Agent 2 Puzzle Agent 2 86.7% · 825 reviews shares Short, Surreal, Point Click, Comedy Little Inferno Little Inferno 94.2% · 8,817 reviews shares Short, Surreal, Point Click, Comedy Broken Age Broken Age 83.2% · 6,296 reviews shares Short, Point Click, Comedy, Female Protagonist Lair of the Clockwork God Lair of the Clockwork God 92.4% · 698 reviews shares Dark Comedy, Point Click, Comedy, Funny

Screenshots

Official Steam store screenshots — click any shot to enlarge.

Facts & details

From the Steam store record, snapshot 2026-05-20.

GenresAdventure, Indie
Player tagsDark Comedy · Funny · Medieval · Point & Click · Surreal · Indie · Female Protagonist · Story Rich · Puzzle · Comedy · Singleplayer · 2D (SteamSpy community voting)
FeaturesSingle-player · Steam Achievements · Steam Trading Cards · Camera Comfort · Custom Volume Controls · Mouse Only Option · Playable without Timed Input · Family Sharing
LanguagesEnglish, French, German, Spanish - Spain, Portuguese - Brazil
Achievements21
Estimated owners100,000 – 200,000 (SteamSpy)
Official sitehttp://joerichardson.games/theprocession/
Minimum system requirements (PC)

Minimum: Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system OS *: Windows XP Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core Memory: 2 GB RAM DirectX: Version 10 Storage: 1 GB available space